O Love That Wilt Not Let Me Go

O Love that wilt not let me go,

I rest my weary soul in thee;

I give thee back the life I owe,

that in thine oceans depths its flow

may richer, fuller be.

On May 17, 2011, our precious Grandy went home to be with Jesus.

My dad sent word late that night: "Grandy just got cured of cancer. She's dancing with Jesus!"

O Joy that seekest me through pain,

I cannot close my heart to thee;

I climb the rainbow through the rain,

and feel the promise is not vain

that morn shall tearless be!

The highlighted words of this hymn (above) were words which Grandy clung to and acted upon as she bravely battled ovarian cancer for eleven years. She actively climbed the rainbow in the middle of her storm, and she climbed it right on up into the presence of Jesus. Dr. David Calhoun expounds on these words in excerpts from his article entitled Climbing Rainbows:

Rainbows tell us about God, and they tell us something very specific about God. The rainbow tells us that God made a covenant with every living creature for all generations that never again would "the waters become a flood to destroy all life." The rainbow tells us--in the words of an ancient Jewish book--that God's "mercy is as great as his majesty." Our sins say "death." God's rainbow says "mercy." The rainbow tells us that sin is not the end of the human story. It should have been the end of the story. But the rainbow promises that there is more to come. So, what does the rainbow promise? It does not promise that there will be no clouds and no rain; it does not even promise that there will be no floods. There will be clouds and rain and floods--in the world and in our lives. Rainbows do not happen without rain. A storm is a prerequisite for a rainbow. There is darkness before light; there is gray dullness before triumphant color. The darkness and storm may temporarily obliterate the sun, but the light will prevail, the sun will come out again, and there will be a rainbow.

So it is in our lives. God doesn't promise that there will be no storms. He does promise that the storms that strike our lives--as devestating as they sometimes are--are His storms. Every storm that strikes our lives will have its rainbow, reminding us that God's mercy is as great as His majesty!

O Cross that liftest up my head,

I dare not ask to fly from thee;

I lay in dust life's glory dead,

and from the ground there blossoms red

life that shall endless be!

Finally, I want to include a word about Grandy's life and the person she was. These are excerpts from her obituary that I especially want to remember.

Vera Elizabeth Wagner Stevens, 74, of Mount Olive, Mississippi, fully entered the presence of her Savior on May 17, 2011. Born March 24, 1937 in Memphis, Tennessee to Clinton Justice Wagner and Vera Boren Wagner, she was the firstborn of four sisters.

On January 11, 1969, Beth married Norman G. Stevens, Jr. Together they raised five children, Susan, Norman, Martha, Kevin, and Lee. They each benefited from her wisdom and her many talents. A serious student of the Bible and Christian doctrine, she taught Sunday School classes and Bible studies for all ages over many years, helping lead many to faith. A faithful member of Mt. Olive Presbyterian Church, she dearly loved her church family. A diligent citizen, she endeavored to improve her community. An industrious business woman, she bought and sold antiques in tandem with her friend, Ann Wells. Friends and family also knew her as an accomplished cook, gardener, and artist. Beth will be remembered as a selfless, forgiving, gracious, kind, wise and loving lady. She will be sorely missed by those who loved her.

Grandy was certainly a special person.
She greatly influenced my life and the lives of many others.

I am so grateful for the heritage of faith that has been passed down through Grandy.
I am grateful that I was able to know her and love her for 24 years.

I cannot wait to see her again.

I love you, Grandy!

Weekend Trip

I made another trip down to Alabama (sadly, without my hard-working husband again). It was a fun trip and a sad trip. It was a necessary trip. There was celebration and grief.

We celebrated the upcoming marriage of Judd, who is basically a brother to me. Judd is marrying his bride, Amanda, on September 3--the same day Baby Luke is due. I promise I did not plan for this to happen. I actually tried to avoid it. HA. Funny how things work out. I'm sick about having to miss the big event in Dallas, so I made sure that I didn't miss the celebration this weekend. Mom and Dad (plus some) hosted a "back porch supper" and kitchen shower for the happy couple.

The four of us (plus Mal) were inseparable in high school. Good times...

Mom had the house and the yard looking fabulous. These pictures don't do it justice.

On Saturday, the parentals and I loaded up and headed to Mississippi to visit our precious Grandy (Dad's mom). Grandy is nearing the end of her life and her 11 year battle with cancer. She is such a strong, beautiful, talented, and godly woman. She has fought this cancer hard, and the Lord has given her many more years than anyone expected. For her, it will be a blessing to go home to be with Jesus. No more chemo poisoning her body. No more sickness. No more pain. No more struggle. Dad says she's expressed to him that she's ready. For us, it will be such a loss for her to go. We can't imagine life without her. I can't imagine her not being here to meet Baby Luke or Baby Betsy (her other great-grandchild coming in September), or not being here for the weddings of her other 12 grandchildren. No one can fathom going to Mt. Olive and her not being there, cooking up a gourmet feast for 30 people or working in the garden. The house has her touch all over it. It will be so different--so empty-- without her. Please pray for her during these last days or weeks. Pray that God would be merciful and that she would not have any pain or anxiety. Pray that the perfect peace of Christ would fill her. Pray for my Papa. He's having such a hard time. Pray that God would give him (and all of us) the strength and grace needed to face the loss of someone so dear. Watching a body grow weak and die is such a horrid part of the curse of sin. It never becomes natural or less horrific, no matter how many times we see it happen. Praise God that Grandy's body will one day be resurrected and restored! One day, there will be complete restoration for all who are in Christ! This is the hope to which we cling in these terrible times of grief...

With Papa and Grandy at my wedding--December 2008

I was so thankful to get to spend time with my Mama on Mother's Day this year. What a precious, precious gift she is to me! She has served me sacrificially, spoken truth to me boldly, stood beside me through everything, and just loved me well. I love her more than words can describe and cannot thank God enough for giving her to me as my mom.

Me, Mom, and Jen in Louisville---April 2010