Baby, Baby!

So, the news is finally out that baby Rice is on the way. I almost made it to the 12 week point before going TOTALLY public (although tons of people already knew), but I'm married to Adam Rice. So, of course, we ended up spilling the beans slightly earlier than planned.

We are thrilled about this new season of life, but I have to admit that the whole idea of having a child is still completely surreal. In the moments when I'm actually not nauseated (which have been few and far between), I start to wonder if the little Rice-a-roni is really, truly in there! The idea of parenthood, particularly Christian parenthood, is both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. We have been given the awesome and massive responsibility of raising a child to know, love, and serve the Lord Jesus Christ! For many years of my life this child (and hopefully others) will be my greatest mission field for Gospel ministry! I am already praying for wisdom, discernment, and grace for this task...often!

Even in these first few months of pregnancy, I have been humbled and driven back to utter dependence on the grace and provision of Christ. Developing complete trust and satisfaction in Christ alone is not necessarily a fun process for sinful, self-reliant flesh. I am so inclined to try to find security in myself! This week, I have been stripped of that. On Sunday, we discovered that my car has some major problems that are costing us a significant amount of money to fix. We've been trying to get around to different jobs/classes with only one vehicle this week. On Tuesday, we found out that all the money left in our checking account had been stolen (fraudulent charges) and that we were going to have to wait a day or so to have it re-funded. Combine these things with Adam's search for a full-time job, crazy pregnancy hormones, and intense nausea, and it makes for a somewhat stressful week. I would love to say that I handled all these (very minor) trials in a godly way by remaining calm and completely trusting God's provision. I have to admit, though, that I had some melt-downs. Poor Adam. In spite of my unfaithfulness, God is faithful to complete the good work He started in me. He will not allow me to wallow in worry, anxiety, and self-pity. In His Word, God has commanded me not to worry and fret about my circumstances but to trust Him because He has promised to faithfully provide for his children (Matthew 6:25-34)! Throughout this week, I have been reminded that God is good ALL the time and that HIS provision in HIS timing is perfect. There will be hard times and trials (ours are so small compared to what some are facing) for all Christians. Life is not going to be easy, but God is sovereign, and He will take care of his children. It has been faith-building to watch the Lord provide already! He has never let us down before! So, why do I fret and worry and "melt-down" when my circumstances aren't ideal?

Matthew 6 reminds me that God knows exactly what I need in every life circumstance. He will provide all that is necessary to accomplish His purposes in me and to bring Himself glory. This applies to the great task of providing for and raising a little Rice to love the Lord! In my utter inadequacy, this gives me deep hope and deep purpose. Praise the Lord for His goodness and grace!