Provider God

Over Christmas break, my sister asked me, "What's God been showing you lately?" I really had to pause and think about it. Throughout the past year or so, I have been acutely aware that God is working in my life---sanctifying me and conforming me more to the image of Christ. However, I really had to think hard to give her a specific answer about exactly what God was doing in me. Over the past few months, Jenny's question has really made me think more deeply about the things that God is teaching me and the ways He is working in my life. I thought it would be beneficial to blog about some of my "lessons learned" so that I may be constantly reminded of and encouraged by God's faithfulness in my life. So, it is my goal to blog (on a somewhat regular basis) about what God is doing and how I am being changed by His gracious hand. So, with that said...

I think that, more than anything else, God has been teaching me to trust him as faithful provider. As simple as that might sound, completely trusting God to meet every need (physcial and spiritual) is not easy for me. For some strange reason, I think that I know what I need more than God does. I also seem to think that I can meet all of my needs if I just earn the right degree, get the right job, and work hard enough in any particular area of life. Ultimately, it all comes down to my need to control my own life. So, when things don't go as I've planned for meeting my own needs, it causes heartache, worry, and stress. Praise God that Christ is stripping me of this obsessive need for control by providing for me in ways that are so completely out of my box. When things don't go my way, God's faithful provision comes soaring through in some unexpected way. It's as if He's saying, "I AM God. Be still. Trust Me!" When we moved to Louisville, it took us so long to find jobs, and we did not end up getting the kind of jobs we expected. I planned to work full-time, while Adam went to school and worked part-time. Adam ended up getting a part-time job that, while somewhat stressful, became our primary income source. I only found part-time work, which enabled me to start taking classes (which was really what I wanted to do). There have been several months when business at Adam's job has been slow, and I've stressed that we wouldn't be able to pay our bills. I'll freak out and worry, and then a check will show up in the mail from some precious person whom God has led to bless us. On days when I think I don't have the strength to balance everything going on in my life and continue faithfully, God's strength becomes sufficient for me. I am continually amazed at God's faithfulness to provide despite my lack of faithfulness to trust Him alone. I pray that He will continue to prune away the faithlessness in my life as He continues to show Himself as provider for every need. I am continually driven back Matthew 6:25-34, and I am continually thankful for these words of Christ.